You can't see my face or hear my expression. Rest assured this entire section is written with my tongue firmly in my cheek. These are some of my personal rules that I live by. In every case I have learned these statements from pain. In many cases I have learned my lessons by doing the exact opposite of what is written here. In some cases, to create a metaphor and illustrate my meaning, I've made up examples of people or personalities.

• This above all, to thine own self be true.

Didn't Shakespeare say this? At least be honest with your Self. Admit everything to your Self, then decide whether or not you want to disclose what you know to others.

• Never miss a chance for a good workout.

Last year I started focusing on doing psychic readings and writing. The one mistake I made was not continuing my workouts (both cardio and weights) at the gym. I'm getting back into it slowly now, but one thing I remember is to never miss a chance for a workout. Whenever it seems like tomorrow evening will be better, you can bet that something will come up. In other words, never miss a chance for a workout. I've never regretted following that rule and frequently regretted not following it.

• Always leave your gym bag in the car.

It's quite simple -- when you don't, there are too many lost chances for a workout. If you're wondering what working out has to do with spirituality, I've found that we are better able to attune ourselves in every way when we are in good shape.

• The answer is always within your Self.

Always. If you feel you have to orchestrate events to reach fulfillment, you're using your involvement as a shield to mask what you're not facing in your Self. If you expect relationships to make you happy, you're trying to fill a void in your Self with someone else. Fill the void in your Self first. Look beyond the shield and solve your problem first. Then there isn't the need to get the answer from outside or from another.

• The more you fight against a lesson, the harder it grows.

If the Universe is teaching you a lesson, listen. Running or fighting makes it worse. If you're in a bad job and learning to deal with a boss who needs therapy, learn the lesson. Learn how to separate your problems from your boss's problems. Then move on. If you don't the lesson will just come up again and next time it will be even more difficult.

• Another name for ending is beginning.

I learned this from reading tarot. Every time something ends, it is Spirit's way of clearing out your life to make room for something more. Even when we think we are losing something dear to us, or that an ending is a disaster, it is still Spirit's way of clearing the way for something better. It is up to us whether we accept Spirit's new gift or not.

• It is not possible to be angry at another - only at a reflection of your self.

We get angry at others when they mirror behaviors we can't face in our Self. Our anger is a flag that we have a chance to learn about our Self and to grow. See the section on Tools for Spiritual Growth.

• People who are always right aren't.

I just avoid people who think they're always right. We can all get that way from time to time, but my thought is that the people that are always right are not looking at both sides of an issue. I've also noticed if they're continually finding something wrong with everyone else, it's because they don't realize they're seeing projections of their own Self (see the rule above).

• Nobody can have power over you unless you want something from them.

Fortunately, I learned this second hand. I was watching someone who had a crush on a woman and kept re-arranging his life around her. She did not care about him, but he reacted to everything she said and did. He was in misery. Then I realized, he was looking for something in her. Instead of looking in his Self, she wanted something from him and would do whatever he thought he had to in order to get it from her. He gave up his own power over himself and let her actions control his life because he was looking for the answers from another instead of within. If he had said, "This is my problem, she has nothing to do with it," he could have stopped reacting to her and taken back his own power over his life.

• Don't try to fix other people's problems.

It's called enabling. For example, say someone in your office can never get to work on time. Your boss doesn't know, but if she finds out, your friend would face disciplinary action. So you cover up for your friend. You do it once and there's no problem. Then it happens again and again. Eventually it occurs to you that he doesn't worry about it, since he knows you'll cover for him. Helping out every now and then is kindness. But allowing it to continue means you are enabling your friend to continue an unproductive and unhealthy behavior. He has no reason to change as long as you cover for him. If it keeps going on, stop covering. Sure, he'll face a showdown or reprimand, but it's his choice. He can either learn or face the consequences. As long as he doesn't have to face the consequences, he won't learn. It's that simple.

• The person with the power is the one to serve.

When someone comes to you in need, you are the one with the power over them. When someone behaves ugly to you, it is because they cannot see their own fear or pain. If there is to be any healing or help, it is the one with the power and knowledge to decide to bring love into the situation. Someone trying to get a free reading from me once said, "I just wish all these immature souls would get out of the way. I'm a mature soul. I just want to live my life without them getting in the way." In front of her were two opportunities. The first was to transcend, or rise above, what she felt was petty behavior, and the other was to help create a healing situation. The one with the knowledge and vision is the one who can be a catalyst for healing. It is their choice, but it is also their privlige, to serve.

• Be so happy with your own life that you don't want a relationship before you get in a relationship.

Looking for a relationship? Why? To fill a void in your life? I have 7 tests someone has to pass on the way to a relationship. The first is the laundry test. Do we make it through the firs date without me thinking, "She's nice, but if I were at home, I'd have the laundry done by now?" If we don't this is not a good sign for a relationship. If doing the laundry is more appealing to me than the woman I'm with, then she won't hold my interested for a relationship. It took me years to realize this could work on a higher level. If your life is full of what you enjoy, then there's no need to add a relationship unless it actually improves an already fulfilling life.

• Not-in-person relationships may be good for dates, but not for relationships.

I've met people online. I've seen friends meet people online. I've seen people get involved in telephone relationships. It's not the same as getting to know someone in person. There are too many gaps and we fill them in with our imagination and desires. We see a small part of a person and fill in the rest the way we want. If you meet someone online or on the phone, meet them in person as soon as possible and as frequently as possible. Of course online relationships meet all our needs – it's easy for the other person to hide what they don't want us to see and even easier for us to imagine them as the perfect person who meets every need. I'm sure some of these work out, but I have never seen one work – not with friends, not with myself, and not even with clients coming in for readings.

• When you continually find yourself jumping from one relationship to another, or continually looking for a relationship, it's time to fall in love with yourself.

If there is a continual "need" for someone else in your life, then it is because of a void. You can fill the void from something outside or seek a way to fill it within yourself. It's your choice, but consider this: if you use another to fill it, what happens when they don't act as you wish or when they leave? The void is still there. Find a way to fill it from within. Then you aren't depending on others to make yourself whole.